If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize