then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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