remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
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