You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
