You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
