what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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