I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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