You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I don't deserve a penis
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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