I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize