thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
