please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
