I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
