I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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