It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
