I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
