using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
