this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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