Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
