We won't sleep together?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
