I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
