Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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