I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
