What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
