Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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