I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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