Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize