And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
