Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
