Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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