Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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