Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
