Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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