I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
