if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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