I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
