I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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