yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
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