well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
