we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
