haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just cut my nipple shaving
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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