is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
