My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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