And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Acid is not a monday night drug
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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