I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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