why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
