too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
