Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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