His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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