Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My ATM looks so different sober.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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