Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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