i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just want to make out with him forever
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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