id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
