He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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