You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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