There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
