What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
