Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
